When it comes to our value, "The word of our Creator is the ultimate source by which we see and comprehend our value, our worth, and our significance...the scriptures state our value by telling us that we are made in God's very image, that our names are written on His hands, that He sings over us, that He follows us with His own eyes, that He knows every detail of our lives, that he was willing to die for us. He has even counted every hair on our heads! His actions are evidence that we are loved and valuable to Him. God valued us so much that, even after we walked away from His good plan for us, He gave His only Son to buy us back. He gave this unselfish sacrifice while we were not His friends, but with our brokenness and self-centeredness in full view. This means we are loved. This demonstrates that we were created with intrinsic value--value that is inherent, not dependent on our condition. We never ever lose that value."
Every time I read something like this, I want to shout it from the mountaintops: "God loves me. I am valuable." But then time goes by, and because of influences around me, I forget it. And I know that I am not alone, because I am around women of all ages who indicate by their own words that they are wondering about their value, too.
The chapter goes on to tell that value is learned. In just a few weeks, we will have a newborn in our family. He/she will be dependent on those around them to learn about their value. We will have the joy of helping them learn how much they are loved and about their value. That tiny baby won't have to do a thing. All of its needs will be met by the grownups in its life. There will be lots of learning going on, too. But in the case of a child who does not get the nurturing needed, they learn they are not valuable enough to be protected and may become an adult who doesn't know how to protect themselves. "She will then be routinely diminished, undervalued or violated in one manner or another...those thick, protective walls may leave her safe from violation but isolated and desperately alone."
We will soon learn that the newborn has needs that aren't too pleasant. There will be spit-ups, dirty diapers and more. "As parents patiently clean up and deal with the aftermath of these imperfections, the child will learn patience with herself. She will learn she is valuable even when things aren't convenient. As the child grows and is good-naturedly taught to clean up her own messes, she will mature. She will know how to accept her imperfections as part of her humanity." Just the opposite is also true. If parents have a lack of patience, continually fly into a rage over these inconveniences, as an adult, these imperfections will be a regular reminder that they are not valuable.
So the author presents the fact that as children we learn by what we've been taught through observation or through words. It's all we know. "What we learn--whether it is intentionally taught or not--will form who we become. If we don't learn as children that we are intrinsically loveable, valuable, and significant...we will be on a lifelong search for value, esteem and significance."
And so there ends up being lots of pain in our lives. But the great thing about pain is that it can lead us to seek out a place where we can begin to experience healing for that pain. That's where the STEPS programs at Salem Alliance comes in to help us. I have been taking advantage of these groups for over three years, and I have been asked to begin training to become a leader in one for women. Here is a church that realizes that there are folks out there who did not learn about how valuable they are. They've experienced pain. They've been disappointed by their church, and they have left it. But that same pain has begun a new search to find a place where healing can begin.
When I turned 40, my diminished eyesight made it necessary to get my first pair of glasses. The improvement in my vision was remarkable. But those glasses did not help me to see something that has been in front of me: hurting neighbors who do what they do because they do not know about their value. But my prayer is that the eyes of my heart will begin to develop new vision. The challenge is out there for recovery, rebuilding and restoration ministries. I've experienced healing, and I'm ready to be used by the Great Physician in whatever way He desires.
